After hearing four different people during the course of a morning use the word “can’t” in some negative way, I decided to spill some knowledge and life experience from myself and others much more qualified about the power of the words that you use.
My eyes were opened to the power of words and thoughts when I watched “The Secret” (link provided at the end) for the first time in 2013. If you haven’t seen it, or read the book, it could possibly be the greatest thing you ever do for yourself. Spoiler alert ahead, I’m going to condense The Secret for you, because there is a fair amount of mumbo jumbo about the meta physical (not a bad thing, but not what we want to focus on). ‘The Secret’ is The Law of Attraction. What is The Law of Attraction? To quote Bob Proctor, “Everything that’s coming into your life you are attracting in to your life. And it’s attracted to you by virtue of the images you’re holding in your mind. It’s what you’re thinking. Whatever is going on in your mind you are attracting to you.” My personal understanding of The Law of Attraction is that every thought you have sends out a ‘frequency’ into the world, and draws whatever it is that matches that frequency into your life. One negative example of this is something most of us have experienced at some point in life. Have you ever had to wake up early to be somewhere important? Spent the night worrying and stressing about it, only to sleep through your alarm and end up late, even though you took precautions to be early? That is a perfect example of something consuming your thoughts turning into a reality.
Obviously, this needs to be taken with a grain of salt, and with realistic expectations (which is why you need to be careful reading the book or watching the movie, you might get the impression that if you think about having a million bucks in the bank that it’ll happen tomorrow. Remember that Good Things Take Time). That does not mean, however, that you can’t set some really hard core goals. Like Norman Vincent Peale said “Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you’ll land among the stars”.
So, after watching The Secret, I started to look back over the last year of my life. At that point I had been sober for about a year. When I initially decided to be a healthy sober dude in 2012, the first couple months I was unknowingly applying this Law of Attraction to my life, and it all happened because of the power of words and thoughts. I told everyone that would listen and everyone that wouldn’t that I was going to be sober and become a fitness guru. I received feedback ranging from the obviously faked, half-hearted “Good for you Jed good luck” to the “yeah right whatever you can’t do that”. To be 100% honest, I had no idea if I was going to pull it off. Moments of doubt self-doubt are natural, and you will have them. There’s no escaping that. The important part is not letting those moments of doubt linger. I lied through my teeth to myself over and over (when I was doubting myself I would repeat I am going to be fit, I am going to be sober), and soon enough, those words became a reality, and continue to be so. The power was in the words, and in persevering until the words and thoughts became a reality. It really clicked with me at that point, after realizing I had already been using these principles with success, and so I started applying it to my entire life. FYI, it keeps working, and my life is seriously bad ass.
Changing your daily word choices will have an immediate and lasting impact on your life. ‘Can’t’ and ‘don’t’ should never be used when describing things you want to do or should be doing. For example, “I don’t have time to work out every day”, “I can’t eat healthy, I don’t have time”, “I just can’t figure out this diet” “I can’t do a pull up” “I can’t squat to full depth”. Heads up, these are excuses, and they are bull shit, pardon the language, because for every one person who tells me those things, I can show you three more who are busier and less able, and still pull it off. Where there is a will, there is a way. If you can admit you are just lazy and don’t really want these things that’s fine, just don’t be an askhole, someone who continually asks for help and advice and never lives it. If you are genuinely struggling but genuinely want to do these things, the key to your success can be found in changing your vocabulary and your mind set (and learning some time management skills).
One of the most positive and helpful vocabulary adjusters, especially pertaining to things in the gym, is use of the word “yet”. It immediately adds in the assumption that at some point, you will have success with this thing. An example; Joe Schmoe has been unable to do a pull up for 10 years. He comes in every day and says “I can’t do a pull up”, which leads directly to him not doing a pull up. One day Joe Schmoe watches The Secret and talks to Coach Jed and listens to his advice and he says “You know what? I’m not able to do a pull up… YET.” Joe Schmoe then starts telling himself “I will do a pull up” and in his free time, he visualizes himself doing a pull up (the Power of Visualization is another excellent topic I’ll write on in the future) and starts applying The Law of Attraction to the pull up. Right now, I can guarantee you this; Joe Schmoe, barring the loss of both arms, is going to do a freaking pull up. This Law works once it is put into place. Joe Schmoe is so excited about getting his pull up that he starts to research and do on his own time some accessory strength work to develop a pull up. An article almost magically stumbles into his lap that makes everything click, and Joe Schmoe runs into the gym and does a pull up.
Changing your frame of mind will change your reality. You won’t be able to be positive 100% of the time, you are not a robot. But if you can push unhappiness away quickly after it comes around, your quality of life is going to be noticeably better. Change the way you talk to constantly reflect positivity. If you’re down, lie to yourself and say you’re happy! One of the best tricks I’ve found to reverse a bad day is telling everyone you run in to that you’re having a great day! Crazy, but I promise it works. Don’t let ‘can’t’ and ‘don’t’ stop you from doing things you are entirely capable of. Tell yourself over and over that you will eat healthy, imagine yourself eating healthy, and you’re going to end up eating healthy. It’s simple. It’s actually so simple that most folks will disregard it and look for something harder, because that’s what our human tendency is. Change your thoughts, change your words, and you will change your life.
“Man often becomes what he believes himself to be. If I keep on saying to myself that I cannot do a certain thing, it is possible that I may end by really becoming incapable of doing it. On the contrary, if I have the belief that I can do it, I shall surely acquire the capacity to do it even if I may not have it at the beginning.”
“The Secret” written by Rhonda Byrne – link to the first 20 minutes on here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zdtqLNeK6Ww
Or just get the book or pay a couple bucks to watch the whole thing or check Netflix, last time I checked it was there. Lots of mumbo jumbo and wealth and riches references, focus on the basics.